Friday, June 18, 2010

Certain Things Every Son Should Know

As I sit here, stuck on the bathroom floor, waiting for Danen to use the potty, I have been thinking about all the things I have left to teach him in life. Some, I'm hoping, won't take this long, and some I know I will instill until my last breath. I am grateful for the chance to raise this little man to adulthood, but I am overwhelmed with all the things he must know to love himself and be a successful husband and father.

Here is my list, so far:

Be grateful for what you have and tell the Lord thank you at least once a day. Whether you drive a Pinto or a Porsche, live in a cardboard box or a house on a hill, He gave you everything. He should be able to take it all away, and you should still be happy.

Be confident in who you are. There's no one else out there to be you.


Embrace everyday as if it is your last. Danen was named after a dear friend of mine who lost his life, much too young, at the age of 19. One thing I thought about at his funeral was a saying by Abraham Lincoln that says, "It's not the years in your life that count; it's the life in your years." Danen lived a very full life in his short amount of time on this Earth; I can only hope my Danen will enjoy it as much.

Be honest in everything that you do. No matter if you can get away with it or not, you can't lie to yourself.

Follow your gut; it's actually the Spirit guiding you.

Know when to make your own mistakes and when it's okay to learn from someone else's. Of course you will need to do somethings and grow in the process, but you don't have to experience everything firsthand.

Learn to be an "indian" and a "chief." People will need you as both during different events in your life.

Never turn down someone who makes the first move. What's one dance or date going to hurt if someone else went out of their way to ask?

And to go with that, gracefully say no, the second time around, if you're not interested. It's rude to lead someone on.

Opening the door for women never goes out of style. Neither does standing up when one walks in the room.

Learn to play the guitar. It can get the attention of a crowd or of that special someone.

Treat everyone with respect but don't let them walk all over you.

It doesn't matter if someone else is looking, always do the right thing. Being cool only matters though high school anyways.

Go after your dreams. If you reach them make higher ones.

Don't always think you have to take the straightest road from A to B. Most of the time, the things you remember in life happen when you take the scenic route.

The next three go hand-in-hand:

Human touch speaks every language and gets your point across. If you like someone--just out of respect, as a friend, or more--show them. Shake their hand. Give them a hug. Put your arm around their waist. It will get you what you want. (I have a great friend, named Peter, who has mastered this. I wish he taught lessons!)

Learn to dance--WELL. There have been many times I have wanted to dance and not had a partner to dance with. Women are always waiting for someone to lead them in a dance. I can't think of anything more romantic than an unexpected slow dance.

Think pro-actively. Don't wait for someone to tell you what to do. In work. In marriage. In service to others. You don't know how much more it means to get something done without having to ask for it. I saw an elderly man giving a talk from a pulpit once. In the middle of it, he became too weak to stand on his own, but he wanted to finish. Out of nowhere, another man (without the promptings of his wife) went to his side and held him around the waist until he finished. I thought at that time, "What a wonderful mother this man must have had to teach him to help even when he's not asked." It still brings a lump to my throat thinking about it today.

And last but not least, make it fun wherever you are. Don't rely on someone else to have a good time. Enjoy yourself!

Man! I have a lot of work ahead of me. Lol.

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